If you could change something would you?

I was talking with my mom the other day and I was telling her that I know I haven't made the best decisions sometimes. But I wouldn't change anything - I went through for anything... I feel that if I changed anything I wouldn't be who I am today. i appreciate my family and friends so much more now that I know they are important to me. I have learned from my mistakes too. I feel bad for some of the decisions that I made but at the time I honestly felt I was making the right now.

For instance, I would have tried harder with one of my friends. We went through so much and we've known each other since middle school that I wish I didn't stop talking to her when we went to college. Due to the way she treated her ex boyfriend at the time. Which was a mutual friend. That was between them not me, him and her. She was someone that was very important to me and sad that I did what I did. But as the saying goes I made my bed so I had to lay in it. Fortunately, we connected later on in life and are friends again. I sometimes want to just hug her and say I am so SORRY!!! Because I know we'll never be close again. But we'll be friends. She is definitely someone I want to try to make the friendship last with. Plus when we hang out (the rare times that we do) it's like no time has past and we are just catching each other up on what's going on. I do hope she knows how much she means to me and how happy i am that she forgave me for being a B&8tch to.

I feel that I haven't been in a relationship where I wasn't cheated on ever. But to be honest I was a cheater once so we all have to experience that. It's made me stronger and appreciate D a lot more. :-D I lucked out with marrying the man that I did. So I guess I had to go through all to because I needed to learn what a good man was like. LMAO Not that D is perfect but we all have faults.

I feel we experience and make choices in life because it's what's meant to happen for a reason.. We may not like the reason at the time but there's always a reason. And we are never handed anything that we aren't able to handle. Plus it's important to have good support to lean on also. We shouldn't feel that we have to carry everything on our shoulders.

Sad to see a friend leave

i am sad that my friend is going back home. but also really happy for her because she'll be with all her family. it's 'semi' important to be near family and nice to have that support when you are raising a child.

but i am going to miss BK so much. i consider her a good friend and sad to see her leave. i will miss our random walks, venting sessions, movies, lunches, sf outings (twice a year), to so much more. she is someone i have become very close to and just hold dear to my heart. she is one in a million - she's taught me so much. and the best thing is that she showed that co-workers can become good friends.. :-D

i won't be saying good bye to her because i am hoping she'll visit or we'll visit her. and that we'll still email and chat online. she is definitely one person i know that i can know in my heart that we don't need to see each other everyday or have to talk everyday.

you will definitely be missed BK but i know that we'll keep in touch. :-D

Mother's day...

I can't express how much fun and joy I get from being M's mommy.. All of our special moments that we have. Of course I don't look forward to the tantrums but he's trying to stop.. But overall he brings so much to my life.

Friday after coming home from work he was so excited to give me my mother's day gift that he made!! He hid it and had me look for it.

I have realized how special it is to even become pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy. I am constantly telling him thank you so much for choosing mommy and daddy to be your mommy and daddy. You are a true blessing from heaven.

I can't imagine my life without him.

My little man is now 5....

Where has the time gone? I can't believe that M is now 5 years old. We decided once again to skip the birthday party.. But to use the money we'd spend on the party for a trip. This year we are going to San Diego!! This is my first time visiting this city and I can't wait to go. Going to Sea World, Lego Land, and San Diego Zoo and just spend quality time with my boys. I will be sad that B won't be able to go but she'll be with her other fur-cousins.. :-D

But we also decided to make tomorrow a special day.. A day full of whatever M would like to do. So we are going to see the 'big ships' that he likes to walk around on and see. But we are going to surprise him with a duck ride.. It seem pretty fun.. You get to tour the city in the streets and then the boat car goes into the water.. And he'll be so happy to know it's not just 'us'. But his grandma, aunts, uncles and cousins will be there too! :-D He loves doing things with them.