What a day yesterday was....

First we had to deal with the knowledge that there was a shooter loose very close to where I work. So basically that meant I did not leave my office and had it shut for most of the day. But that just reminded me that each and every life is precious. We shouldn't take life for granted. And that some people do desperate things in their eyes as desperate times. But makes me also think where are this person's family or friends? How did none of them see that he was headed towards this crazy rampage? Do we really know the people in our lives? Should we be paying more attention to the close people in our lives? Is there something that we could do to help each other so that they know there's is the light at the end of the tunnel?

It was such sad news about learning that Steve passed away. I was so sad that we have lost such an inspirational man. One that brought so much into our lives. Someone with a vision and knowledge beyond what i can express. And just knew how to make everyone so excited about whatever he was introducing. He definitely took pride in his work/visions. He was a man of many talents. And he will definitely be missed. I read a couple articles about him but there were two that stuck with me. And they weren't within the last couple of days. But one where a mother wrote about her encounter of him. She had met him at a block party or something. But she was writing about how he remembered her and how he'd go for daily walks with his wife. And he'd smile and/or wave. How he'd talk about his children to her and how she didn't make a great first impression for herself when she met him. It was very touching to read about a side you don't normally hear about him. And the other which everyone has read/seen but his speech at the Stanford graduation. My friend posted his words on her blog awhile ago and it just brought tears to my eyes.. and still does. This is one of many parts of his speech that stuck with me: Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma–which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. My heart aches for his loved ones that he has left behind. Not that his loss is any less important but we were so lucky to have had him in all of our lives. I didn't know him but I did see him around campus sometimes. But if it weren't for him we wouldn't have all the fun toys that he's given us. So instead of saying rest in peace again but THANK YOU STEVE!! You have made your mark in life and definitely made a difference in my life. And have taught me more than you can know. And one day I too hope that I have left my mark in each and everyone that I have met.

Grandparents day...

my father emailed my brother, sister and i that 9/11 is grandparents day. my first thought is oh here we go again.. dad wanting us to take him out to dinner... but i am trying to think of it differently.. maybe it's his way of reaching out because he isn't the best communicator. so i turned it around and tried to take it in a positive way instead of a negative.

so i sent D an email to see if we can take him, faith and mom out to dinner. i do want M to know his family and hope that with my parents and step mom have learned how their parents were with their own children and what they can do differently. plus k will be born soon and he'll want to know his grandparents too.

but honestly what i thought about was that this is the 10 year anniversary of all the 9/11 victims and their poor families. what their families must have felt and that this is the worst day of their lives. that they not only lost their loved ones but how can the 'higher being' take them away??? what's the lesson that needs to be learned? there were so many victims and heroes. as i watch bits and pieces of documentaries of this day i learn so much more. i can still remember that day so well. and can't imagine how it felt for the ppl that lived there at the time.

Another first..

Today was M's first day in kindergarten.. I have been trying to mentally prepare myself for this. But can a mother really be ready for when their child starts school for the first time?

He did so well.. He wasn't clingy or scared. We got there stood in line and took a couple pictures. I love that his teacher is organized and fun!! she was the only one that had an art easel with print outs for parents to take.. Along with a wishlist of small items that you can donate. So M and I picked a small potted plant. Can't wait to go to pick one out with him. I was doing well until the teacher said okay everyone let's go.. parents you stay here.. and she walked them to their classrooms..

little does he know he's about to embark on a new adventure/journey. he is on his way to the big kid world... where he'll make friends and hopefully boys and girls that are good. my influence will not be as strong because now he has his teachers and friends.. i have been working on trying to build a relationship of open communication. answer his questions as honest and to the point for his age.

I will now join be having to join PTA and chit chatting with other parents.. making more small talk or just trying to find my place too. Volunteering in the classroom and getting to know who his new friends are.

So I am taking this as my new journey too. I need to learn the ropes of your child going to school!!

Never a dull moment...

As a mom of a 5 year old that just started school.. And soon to a new born. I am trying to be more organized at home. I love my to do lists but there aren't enough hours in the day... For example this is a typical day for me:

5:15am - wake up
5:18am - Change into gym clothes or work clothes
5:30am - go downstairs and make myself bfast
6:00am - I should be done eating bfast or close to it.. While catching up on a show that i recorded.
6:10am - Start putting together whatever is left that I need to do for Mason's snack for school and lunch for daycare.
6:20am - make Mason bfast
6:30am - go upstairs and make sure that Mason is awake
6:31am - Put make up on and do hair if i am not going to the gym
6:45am - Make sure Mason changed into his clothes
6:55am - argue with Mason that he needs to brush his teeth and stop watching tv
7:05am - head downstairs to put on shoes and coat..
7:10am - be in car (all this is going to change because he starts school)
7:15am - arrive at daycare
7:25am - get back into car and drive to work
7:55am - Arrived at work and get some urgent items done
8:30am - head to gym (early lunch break) so that i get this done with because i won't later
9:30am - work again
11:00am - eat at desk because i already used my lunch break
5:00pm - leave work and pick up Mason
5:40pm - PIck up Mason from daycare
6:00pm - Start cooking dinner
6:45pm - eat dinner
7:30pm - bath time and get ready for bed
7:45pm - Jump in the shower to take a quick one before i go to bed
8:10pm - Read story time
8:30pm - Song and kiss time
8:35pm - watch one show that i recorded because i need to rest
9:00pm - decide what room i want to attempt to clean
9:45pm - Put together what I can for Mason's lunch
10:15pm - head upstairs and wind down to go to sleep

So I need to figure out how to be more organized...... i am working on finding make up products that are easy and fast... Because once this baby is here i won't want to spend time getting myself ready.. so i found a couple of items i LOVE!!

1. LivingProof - straight!! I have wavy hair to say the least.. So I will take a shower at night and when it's not hot. I will stray this stuff in my hair and blow dry. The next day all i have to do it flat iron my bangs and stray on some shine to the hair and brush.. That's it and let's call it a day. The bottle says to flat iron after you blow dry.. but come on I am trying to keep my hair nice.. I have enough split ends. Oh and when i am blow drying I just use my fingers!!

2. LORAC Oil-Free Wet/Dry Powder Makeup: Now I have been in search of a foundation.. I love that you can use this as a wet or dry or either both.. I when I know I have a 'date' night.. I will wet the sponge and apply the powder. Once I finish I will use a brush to dust the powder on my face to set and a little more coverage. Plus this so far is the only foundation that I have used where I still have my 'eyebrows' on. I have barely any eyebrows.

3. Smashbox Brow Tech To Go: By far the BEST invention!! I don't have to use a brow brush. This is one product that I ALWAYS wear no matter what.

So on the search for my products that make my life easier.

Goal for now...

i have been wondering what i can do to make our home feel more like home. i want to really decorate our place. a home where when friends come over they say now this is a home.

so first thing first... i need to de-clutter. how? i will do one room at a time. i need to give myself one room for one week. since cleaning makes me so tired..

and lastly, once i am done i can really see what i can do to decorate each room. :-D i know i overwhelm myself with with the big picture. so i need to take baby steps. :-D

i will start tonight after dinner.

Friend no more...

I am a little annoyed that a person S and I used to be friends with is still selfish. I understand that her mom still talks with L's parents. But really why would you invite S's parents to your child's baptism when S and I are not speaking to you. L should know that S and her mom's relationship is 'hard' to say the least. But by inviting her parents don't you think this will cause disagreements for them? Don't you get it that you shouldn't be asking them if you don't invite us? It's just hard because I see how it upsets S. I have learned that she doesn't want to hear about L and her attitude changes when L's name is mentioned. So I have learned not to bring her in our conversations. Not that she misses her or regrets not wanting a friendship. But just that she is tired of L and all that comes along.

Before I somewhat was sad that L wasn't in my life a little bit because I haven't met anyone that likes most of my shows or have weekly dinners with. But after this it just reminded me how selfish L is. How she only cares and thinks about herself. And still to this day it makes me sad that she never learned her lessons from losing the close friends that we were. How we felt went in one ear and out the other. And it's even more sad that she was the biggest one to always say actions speak louder than words. Yet she never lived by her actions.

If you could change something would you?

I was talking with my mom the other day and I was telling her that I know I haven't made the best decisions sometimes. But I wouldn't change anything - I went through for anything... I feel that if I changed anything I wouldn't be who I am today. i appreciate my family and friends so much more now that I know they are important to me. I have learned from my mistakes too. I feel bad for some of the decisions that I made but at the time I honestly felt I was making the right now.

For instance, I would have tried harder with one of my friends. We went through so much and we've known each other since middle school that I wish I didn't stop talking to her when we went to college. Due to the way she treated her ex boyfriend at the time. Which was a mutual friend. That was between them not me, him and her. She was someone that was very important to me and sad that I did what I did. But as the saying goes I made my bed so I had to lay in it. Fortunately, we connected later on in life and are friends again. I sometimes want to just hug her and say I am so SORRY!!! Because I know we'll never be close again. But we'll be friends. She is definitely someone I want to try to make the friendship last with. Plus when we hang out (the rare times that we do) it's like no time has past and we are just catching each other up on what's going on. I do hope she knows how much she means to me and how happy i am that she forgave me for being a B&8tch to.

I feel that I haven't been in a relationship where I wasn't cheated on ever. But to be honest I was a cheater once so we all have to experience that. It's made me stronger and appreciate D a lot more. :-D I lucked out with marrying the man that I did. So I guess I had to go through all to because I needed to learn what a good man was like. LMAO Not that D is perfect but we all have faults.

I feel we experience and make choices in life because it's what's meant to happen for a reason.. We may not like the reason at the time but there's always a reason. And we are never handed anything that we aren't able to handle. Plus it's important to have good support to lean on also. We shouldn't feel that we have to carry everything on our shoulders.

Sad to see a friend leave

i am sad that my friend is going back home. but also really happy for her because she'll be with all her family. it's 'semi' important to be near family and nice to have that support when you are raising a child.

but i am going to miss BK so much. i consider her a good friend and sad to see her leave. i will miss our random walks, venting sessions, movies, lunches, sf outings (twice a year), to so much more. she is someone i have become very close to and just hold dear to my heart. she is one in a million - she's taught me so much. and the best thing is that she showed that co-workers can become good friends.. :-D

i won't be saying good bye to her because i am hoping she'll visit or we'll visit her. and that we'll still email and chat online. she is definitely one person i know that i can know in my heart that we don't need to see each other everyday or have to talk everyday.

you will definitely be missed BK but i know that we'll keep in touch. :-D

Mother's day...

I can't express how much fun and joy I get from being M's mommy.. All of our special moments that we have. Of course I don't look forward to the tantrums but he's trying to stop.. But overall he brings so much to my life.

Friday after coming home from work he was so excited to give me my mother's day gift that he made!! He hid it and had me look for it.

I have realized how special it is to even become pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy. I am constantly telling him thank you so much for choosing mommy and daddy to be your mommy and daddy. You are a true blessing from heaven.

I can't imagine my life without him.

My little man is now 5....

Where has the time gone? I can't believe that M is now 5 years old. We decided once again to skip the birthday party.. But to use the money we'd spend on the party for a trip. This year we are going to San Diego!! This is my first time visiting this city and I can't wait to go. Going to Sea World, Lego Land, and San Diego Zoo and just spend quality time with my boys. I will be sad that B won't be able to go but she'll be with her other fur-cousins.. :-D

But we also decided to make tomorrow a special day.. A day full of whatever M would like to do. So we are going to see the 'big ships' that he likes to walk around on and see. But we are going to surprise him with a duck ride.. It seem pretty fun.. You get to tour the city in the streets and then the boat car goes into the water.. And he'll be so happy to know it's not just 'us'. But his grandma, aunts, uncles and cousins will be there too! :-D He loves doing things with them.

Weird dreams..

Lately I have been having weird dreams.. I think it's because of what my husband is watching before I fall asleep.. Or the fact that I can hear him play Halo.. All that shooting and fighting. Damn you violent things...

My solution is to read before going to bed. :-D

Tragedy in Japan - what to do..???

I know that we should be mindful all the time.. But with the big earthquake in Japan just makes me think. Should I talk about this with M. So last night he got upset over something that I felt was nothing. And here's the 'higher being' telling me that here's your chance to teach your son about giving and helping out others in need. To teach him that I understand you are upset over mommy not going to daycare to pick something up that you feel is important. But is it really going to harm you to wait until the next day?? Probably not. And that there are worse things going on in our world.

I then started to tell him about the BIG earthquake that happened in Japan. Mind you he is only 4.5 years old. So after I went to You Tube and showed him a couple videos and we watched. He asked me if this is real and what happened. I said that this is not something that we could control or have prevented. Mother earth had a huge earthquake and that there have been many deaths. And that we are praying that more people are found. It was something very sad but we can't dwell over what has happened. All we can do is do all we can to help out with whatever we can. And understand there is a bigger picture. And sometimes that we maybe upset over something but there's always something worse that may have happened. So is it really worth wasting all this energy on negativity? And that was all I could get in.. he was zoning out.

So this morning I continued with what do you think we can do to help out? What can you and mommy do to help the people in Japan? He had no idea and of course looks at daddy and asks him what does he think. And daddy says nothing. So thank you to B for suggesting that we donate on iTunes. But I am going to go a step more and do what C suggested. That M walk around and collect cans and bottles. We go to the recycle place and get cash for all that we have collected. And I will match whatever he makes and we can donate on iTunes. Plus I also bought a couple bracelets from my little sister's school.

10 Happiness Quotes We Love per Oprah

Thought if I put this hear it would help me remember to come here so that I can read when need be. I hope that if anyone reads this it will help you too. We all deserve to be happy. :-D And we need to remind ourselves that everyday is precious and to appreciate all that we do have in our lives. It may not seem like it but someone out there thinks we are lucky. :-D


1. "Happiness depends upon ourselves." —Aristotle

2. "Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." —Mahatma Gandhi

3. "The moments of happiness we enjoy take us by surprise. It is not that we seize them, but that they seize us." —Ashley Montagu

4. "Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it." —Jaques Prevert

5. "One of the secrets of a happy life is continuous small treats." —Iris Murdoch

6. "The only joy in the world is to begin." —Cesare Pavese

7. "It is only possible to live happily ever after on a daily basis." —Margaret Bonanno

8. "The pleasure which we most rarely experience gives us greatest delight." —Epictetus

9. "Remember this, that very little is needed to make a happy life." — Marcus Aurelius

10. "I wake up every morning with a great desire to live joyfully." — Anna Howard Shaw

This week...

I have told myself to try and make dinner more.. And also to save on money I need to try to be better. But to try to add more different meals to the table. I have my dishes that i normally make but i want to make sure that my little sister and M try different things.. And to my surprise they are both eating well..

I also worked on my budget and told myself that i must pay off my car. and i have to figure out how much i can spend on D's bday. we have to take him out for dinner and buy him something good.. or i was thinking of just getting him giftcards so that he can just go shopping and buy whatever he wants... i do have one thing in mind of getting him that can be opened and from M and B. ;-P hehehehe

Cards....

I still love receiving cards or letters via mail... Yes emails are nice but I mean snail mail. Nothing makes my day brighten up to coming home to a nice card... It's nice to see that in the pile of junk mail. :-D so i have promised myself to try and be better about mailing out anniversary and birthday cards.. My grandma is so good about this. And she has taught my mom to be like that too.. Its so small but can make someone's day. So I will be trying to do this and how nice is it that we can do this from the computer. And there are places where you can order the card and actually personalize it and have it mailed from there which you pay extra for postage. This can't make my life easier and less of an reasons to not be better about it.

Photo of the day...

lately this 'creek' by the building i work at is dried up. So today when I was walking by I noticed that there was water. Got excited and had to take a picture.. Just watching the water go by has this calming effect on me. I wanted to share with whoever would like to see. I am trying to appreciate the little things that either i see or happen to experience something with. Yes i am smelling the roses - thank you. :-D

To bento box or not....

I feel that beginning this year I have been doing a better job of putting together M's lunch for daycare. But one day that i don't feel like packing a lunch and have no idea what to put in it I am 'talked' to by the main person. Which I am glad that she did. At first I was offended but honestly I am trying to look at things differently. So why am I happy? Because she cares that much for him to mention it to me and suggest things I can do instead.

So I have taken what she says and will put a twist on it. I will make it work for whatever M and I like.. And what I am capable of doing - which is anything to make my little guy happy and healthy. :-D

See I actually do practice what I preach and try to reach my goals that I do for myself.

I am even thinking of posting pictures so that i will make sure to do it.

Best V-Day present

Yesterday I received the best V-Day gift EVER!! The first of many to come hopefully.. M made me bath salts at school... It was so sweet and he was so excited to give it to me. he reminds me every day why i love being a mom and how lucky i am to have him in my life. this past year i have learned to treasure our moments together. yes i am not a perfect mommy and i have my moments. but for the most part we teach each other something.

Starting today..

i will take a photo of each day to represent and to remind me moments of the day that i want to remember or just because.. :-D

Trying to do things for M

I decided that I would try to save up and buy myself a bike.. i haven't had one since I was in grade school because mine was stolen.. And I haven't felt like I wanted another one. But now that M is 4 and a 1/2 he wants to ride his bike more. And now that we live in an area that we both can ride and not worry about so many cars - I think it could be a good time to buy one. But it's not high on my priority because I have my jogging stroller that I want to use more often. I can't wait for the sun to down later.

Interesting... 5 Best Things to Do for Your Relationship

I read this article and find it very simple and interesting.. Why do we (women) have to stroke our husband/partner's back for everything little thing they do?? I mean by all means for me I do so much more but do I get a thank you? But if it helps this is definitely worth trying out. Call it my experiment to a happier marriage. ;-P

When it comes to love, relationships can be like cars: constant care and adjustment (instead of pricey and painful visits to the body shop/marriage counselor) are often the best way to improve and strengthen your bond. One of O's staffers gets the lowdown from the experts on five fixes to start making now.


1: "Stop all shame, blame, and criticism. Instead ask for what you want in a clear, specific, and positive manner, and express appreciation for your partner. To elaborate: Men need to feel competent—that they make a contribution and that it is noticed. They like to be told what 'behavior' makes you happy. Since men tend to express affection by doing things, you should interpret their actions as love. When men know what to do and are acknowledged for it, they tend to keep doing it." — Harville Hendrix, PhD, author of Getting the Love You Want

2: "Change from a critical habit of mind, in which you're very involved with your partner's mistakes, to a positive one, in which you catch him doing something right. Notice one small thing, and express genuine appreciation. That will change your interaction patterns from escalating negativity and criticism to building a culture of appreciation." — John M. Gottman, PhD, author of The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships

3: "When your relationship starts to break down, you need AAA: an Apology, Affection, and a promise of Action. You say you're sorry for what you've said or done to hurt or disappoint your partner. You immediately offer a hug, a kiss—some meaningful gesture of warmth. You pledge to do something that matters to your partner ('From now on, I will…'). And, of course, you stick to that. This whole AAA thing can take two minutes, but in that time you've healed the past, built a bridge to the present, and created hope for your future." — Mira Kirshenbaum, psychotherapist and author of The Weekend Marriage

4: "With books on the market like How to Make Love Like a Porn Star, one of the greatest services you can do for a guy is to reassure him that he doesn't have to make love like a porn star. You can show him how to have sex like a woman: creative, sensual, non-genital-based, and more pleasure- than orgasm-focused. Lead him to an experience that goes beyond his penis and makes him fully engaged—mind, body, and soul." — Ian Kerner, PhD, author of She Comes First

5: "All relationships grow a bit stale as time goes by, and the longer-lasting they are, the staler they can get. The best thing you can do is pump in some fresh air. A long weekend in a romantic hideaway would be ideal, but even a few hours in a motel helps. Don't tell anyone where you are, turn off your cell phones, and unplug the TV. When you get home, you'll find your relationship has acquired ruddy cheeks." — Dr. Ruth Westheimer, psychosexual therapist and author of 52 Lessons on Communicating Love

This summer

this year i have decided that i know that daycare is closed from a certain time. i will take some time off for the first time and spend it with my family and we'll do day trips. and maybe even get to go somewhere this year. we haven't gone on a family vacation in awhile.

by this summer he'll be 5 years old so i will have to look into places to go for a 5 year old. i can't believe i am thinking about summertime already.