Routines...

M and I are finally starting to 'somewhat' get back into routines... For bedtime we are working on it because he is going through a 'scary' and lonely phase. But with time and new tricks i am getting closer to making him feel better about bedtime. I have to leave the 'big' light on it makes him feel 'safer'.. ;-P

Now if only he'd sleep until 7am again on the weekends.

to let go...

how do you let go of something in your past? i experienced something that i would never wish on anyone as a teenager. i thought i got over it and when i confronted the person and got a reaction i thought i wouldn't get. i thought he'd feel so bad and sorry for his actions. but the totally opposite was his reaction. so now i realize that i am still not fully over that part of my life.

one of my friends that i talked to said that i can't let it bring me down. and she wouldn't let me do it. i am a good person she said.

i have always felt that you get what you put out. so is she right? or am i being punished for what i have done or said to someone? i know i am a harsh person and brutally honest when sometimes i should bite my tongue.

so how do i mentally get over this? how do i lay this to rest and just move on? am i really a good person? or do i deserve this?

i honestly haven't had much time to think or lay this to rest but i need to in order to be a better person. but HOW????!?!?!?!?

Love keeps on growing

I had so much fun with M yesterday... It's so rare that we hang out alone. I guess that's my fault but I should do this more often. We had a lot of fun at mom's last night. We did an 'arts and craps' (as my son calls it) project. I didn't want to do the usually color or paint. so first i had M and I go on an adventure to find stuff outside that we'd paste/glue onto paper... So we searched for some leaves, rocks, branches and leaves on branches. I love seeing how he gets so excited about doing projects. Especially because I let him cut the double sided tape on his own. :-D and we did other things but for the most part our day with just playing.. and mommy needed a couple naps because my head hurt.