Do you ever wonder what your purpose is in life? I know things that I want to accomplish in life.. But more on a personal level. For instance something I have always wanted to do is make a difference in everyone's life that I have come across. Of course in a positive way. Or even if I don't really talk to them as much or anymore.. I hope that if they are doing something that reminds them of me that it brings a smile to their face. Or changed a negative thought into a positive one.
but what is the real purpose/mission that i am supposed to do? the only thing i have come up with is being a better person and just getting to as close as i can to perfect before i pass away. i know i will never be perfect or else i wouldn't really try. but i can strive for that right?
especially now that i am a mother i want to bring M up as well as i can. and i know the first place that i need to start. i am not a patient person when i want something i want it now. so when someone asks me what do i want? i usually say i don't know.. or i sacrifice little things for me so that i can buy something for M. but anyways i want to work on making my relationship with D better. i can be short tempered with him for the most part. because i feel the closest to him and that since we've known and been together for so long he should know what i like and don't like right? well wrong - i should be more respectful to him because he is my life partner. and know that i can be fickle sometimes and like it one way and then decide there is a better way and forget to tell him.. so he'll do the 'old' way. which can change from yesterday to today. he is one of the most important people in my life and i want M to know that his mommy and daddy are completely in love with each other. and this is the way it should be. not parents that argue over pity things. so that is what i will work on to strive to be a better person..
but still what is my purpose in life? i know what i want to do for others but what do i want out of life? am i just one of those women who just do what they think they should do? i want to be an example not a follower. i know i don't have a glamorous job or get paid a lot of money. so should i find one? should i go to college and get a degree because i never even finished junior college? is it even right for me to think about myself since i have a baby and husband?
1 comment:
first off, great pic. i'm kinda into photography these days and i like the spatial elements in pics like that.
second, are you starting to think about mortality? i had a brief thought of my own mortality the other day and i asked myself similar questions. is there really an answer? does it really matter? choose what's important to you and focus on those things. i used to want to rule the world, but heck i'm happy these days just making sure that i make em happy. i've also figured out that being a better person means more than you think. just because it's not going to win you any accolades or praise, doesn't mean the world won't be better for it. i think this world has become too hollywood. we constantly lose sight of what's really important, especially when we consider that anna nicole smith is a dominating news story on prime time news. ridiculous if you ask me. i think raising a child is one of the most important things in the world and you're on the right track. don't ever question that.
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