Thanks D

Thanks to my wonderful husband i now will have a [hopefully] no more back pains. i can't believe that we finally bought me my car. i have been looking into buying a car because my old one gives me back pain and bumps on my head. the integra is so small and compact but thanks to D he helped me buy a 'new' used car. it's the first newer car that i have gotten and another one that i really like. i love all the compartments and cup holders for everyone. i love how it fits 8 including me and still have some room in the trunk. and that i have a not so much like a 'soccer' mom car.

And thanks again D

Purpose in life...

Do you ever wonder what your purpose is in life? I know things that I want to accomplish in life.. But more on a personal level. For instance something I have always wanted to do is make a difference in everyone's life that I have come across. Of course in a positive way. Or even if I don't really talk to them as much or anymore.. I hope that if they are doing something that reminds them of me that it brings a smile to their face. Or changed a negative thought into a positive one.

but what is the real purpose/mission that i am supposed to do? the only thing i have come up with is being a better person and just getting to as close as i can to perfect before i pass away. i know i will never be perfect or else i wouldn't really try. but i can strive for that right?

especially now that i am a mother i want to bring M up as well as i can. and i know the first place that i need to start. i am not a patient person when i want something i want it now. so when someone asks me what do i want? i usually say i don't know.. or i sacrifice little things for me so that i can buy something for M. but anyways i want to work on making my relationship with D better. i can be short tempered with him for the most part. because i feel the closest to him and that since we've known and been together for so long he should know what i like and don't like right? well wrong - i should be more respectful to him because he is my life partner. and know that i can be fickle sometimes and like it one way and then decide there is a better way and forget to tell him.. so he'll do the 'old' way. which can change from yesterday to today. he is one of the most important people in my life and i want M to know that his mommy and daddy are completely in love with each other. and this is the way it should be. not parents that argue over pity things. so that is what i will work on to strive to be a better person..

but still what is my purpose in life? i know what i want to do for others but what do i want out of life? am i just one of those women who just do what they think they should do? i want to be an example not a follower. i know i don't have a glamorous job or get paid a lot of money. so should i find one? should i go to college and get a degree because i never even finished junior college? is it even right for me to think about myself since i have a baby and husband?

Total opposites...

How do you deal with a difference in personality? I was raised to be on time or earlier than the appointed time to meet. And when you have an event coming up plan for it. Well how do you deal with people that are so totally opposite??? I have been trying to figure out a way to do this since my husband and I got married. You wouldn't think it would be such an annoying character until you really have to deal with it. For instance, my family celebrates EVERY holiday or just about anything to have a reason to get together. His family just recently in the past 3-4 years decided to celebrate xmas, mothers, fathers and thanksgiving.. So it makes life a little hard especially since i come from divorced parents. So we now have to do lunch, dinner and whatever we make it to. Well those are just something I am sure we'll figure out which I am hoping will be the 'eve' of everything. But for birthdays these days are always the same the date never changes just maybe the day. My IL's like to plan things the totally last minute.. And when something gets planned early (mind you this means 2 days before) they usually change. Well I am guessing that they still don't get that I usually have plans for the weekend weeks or months before.. so if we are lucky they will call the day before.. but normally my SIL will call my hubby and say hey we are getting together for mom's birthday. Which is nice and we are like okay. When? For lunch today.. Which means an hour or two from when they are calling. I don't think they realize that we live in Sunnyvale and have to drive to eitehr san francisco or oakland. but before that usually have to drop off the dog and all three of us have to get ready and straighten up before we leave the house. so we are talking at least 2 hours of getting ready and making sure that M doesn't need to be fed and getting his diaper bag ready. And they are rarely on time. But when we decide oh it's okay to be late they are all waiting for us. WTF?!?!@?!?!?!

So my question of the day is HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH LATE PLANNERS??? This is a constant battle between my husband and I. And I have tried inquiring ahead of time and seeing what they are going to do but no one ever knows the answer. Or assume that we'll hold the event at our place.. ummm no thanks.. my nephew and neice are out of control and i rather not have them over thanks very much. and we have my other families to see/visit.

So what should I do but I guess be prepared.. Since it was Chinese New Year I blocked off Saturday and Sunday thinking that maybe we'll be seeing them. But I don't look forward to seeing them or getting together all that much. When we are there it's better. And thank god i get along with them but i still have this thing because they plan so late.

V-Day..

I dread this day.. But now that I have a family I am going to make the most of it... :-D This year I didn't make anymone a card except for D. But I made magnets with a picture of Belle and the boss to give to my family. And a little something for the kids.

I want to teach the Boss that this day isn't just for lovers but for family too. A way to show each other that we love each other. Although we should be that way to each other everyday.. It's hard when you are going through the motions of each day.