Sad to see a friend leave

i am sad that my friend is going back home. but also really happy for her because she'll be with all her family. it's 'semi' important to be near family and nice to have that support when you are raising a child.

but i am going to miss BK so much. i consider her a good friend and sad to see her leave. i will miss our random walks, venting sessions, movies, lunches, sf outings (twice a year), to so much more. she is someone i have become very close to and just hold dear to my heart. she is one in a million - she's taught me so much. and the best thing is that she showed that co-workers can become good friends.. :-D

i won't be saying good bye to her because i am hoping she'll visit or we'll visit her. and that we'll still email and chat online. she is definitely one person i know that i can know in my heart that we don't need to see each other everyday or have to talk everyday.

you will definitely be missed BK but i know that we'll keep in touch. :-D

Mother's day...

I can't express how much fun and joy I get from being M's mommy.. All of our special moments that we have. Of course I don't look forward to the tantrums but he's trying to stop.. But overall he brings so much to my life.

Friday after coming home from work he was so excited to give me my mother's day gift that he made!! He hid it and had me look for it.

I have realized how special it is to even become pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy. I am constantly telling him thank you so much for choosing mommy and daddy to be your mommy and daddy. You are a true blessing from heaven.

I can't imagine my life without him.

My little man is now 5....

Where has the time gone? I can't believe that M is now 5 years old. We decided once again to skip the birthday party.. But to use the money we'd spend on the party for a trip. This year we are going to San Diego!! This is my first time visiting this city and I can't wait to go. Going to Sea World, Lego Land, and San Diego Zoo and just spend quality time with my boys. I will be sad that B won't be able to go but she'll be with her other fur-cousins.. :-D

But we also decided to make tomorrow a special day.. A day full of whatever M would like to do. So we are going to see the 'big ships' that he likes to walk around on and see. But we are going to surprise him with a duck ride.. It seem pretty fun.. You get to tour the city in the streets and then the boat car goes into the water.. And he'll be so happy to know it's not just 'us'. But his grandma, aunts, uncles and cousins will be there too! :-D He loves doing things with them.

Weird dreams..

Lately I have been having weird dreams.. I think it's because of what my husband is watching before I fall asleep.. Or the fact that I can hear him play Halo.. All that shooting and fighting. Damn you violent things...

My solution is to read before going to bed. :-D

Tragedy in Japan - what to do..???

I know that we should be mindful all the time.. But with the big earthquake in Japan just makes me think. Should I talk about this with M. So last night he got upset over something that I felt was nothing. And here's the 'higher being' telling me that here's your chance to teach your son about giving and helping out others in need. To teach him that I understand you are upset over mommy not going to daycare to pick something up that you feel is important. But is it really going to harm you to wait until the next day?? Probably not. And that there are worse things going on in our world.

I then started to tell him about the BIG earthquake that happened in Japan. Mind you he is only 4.5 years old. So after I went to You Tube and showed him a couple videos and we watched. He asked me if this is real and what happened. I said that this is not something that we could control or have prevented. Mother earth had a huge earthquake and that there have been many deaths. And that we are praying that more people are found. It was something very sad but we can't dwell over what has happened. All we can do is do all we can to help out with whatever we can. And understand there is a bigger picture. And sometimes that we maybe upset over something but there's always something worse that may have happened. So is it really worth wasting all this energy on negativity? And that was all I could get in.. he was zoning out.

So this morning I continued with what do you think we can do to help out? What can you and mommy do to help the people in Japan? He had no idea and of course looks at daddy and asks him what does he think. And daddy says nothing. So thank you to B for suggesting that we donate on iTunes. But I am going to go a step more and do what C suggested. That M walk around and collect cans and bottles. We go to the recycle place and get cash for all that we have collected. And I will match whatever he makes and we can donate on iTunes. Plus I also bought a couple bracelets from my little sister's school.

10 Happiness Quotes We Love per Oprah

Thought if I put this hear it would help me remember to come here so that I can read when need be. I hope that if anyone reads this it will help you too. We all deserve to be happy. :-D And we need to remind ourselves that everyday is precious and to appreciate all that we do have in our lives. It may not seem like it but someone out there thinks we are lucky. :-D


1. "Happiness depends upon ourselves." —Aristotle

2. "Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." —Mahatma Gandhi

3. "The moments of happiness we enjoy take us by surprise. It is not that we seize them, but that they seize us." —Ashley Montagu

4. "Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it." —Jaques Prevert

5. "One of the secrets of a happy life is continuous small treats." —Iris Murdoch

6. "The only joy in the world is to begin." —Cesare Pavese

7. "It is only possible to live happily ever after on a daily basis." —Margaret Bonanno

8. "The pleasure which we most rarely experience gives us greatest delight." —Epictetus

9. "Remember this, that very little is needed to make a happy life." — Marcus Aurelius

10. "I wake up every morning with a great desire to live joyfully." — Anna Howard Shaw

This week...

I have told myself to try and make dinner more.. And also to save on money I need to try to be better. But to try to add more different meals to the table. I have my dishes that i normally make but i want to make sure that my little sister and M try different things.. And to my surprise they are both eating well..

I also worked on my budget and told myself that i must pay off my car. and i have to figure out how much i can spend on D's bday. we have to take him out for dinner and buy him something good.. or i was thinking of just getting him giftcards so that he can just go shopping and buy whatever he wants... i do have one thing in mind of getting him that can be opened and from M and B. ;-P hehehehe

Cards....

I still love receiving cards or letters via mail... Yes emails are nice but I mean snail mail. Nothing makes my day brighten up to coming home to a nice card... It's nice to see that in the pile of junk mail. :-D so i have promised myself to try and be better about mailing out anniversary and birthday cards.. My grandma is so good about this. And she has taught my mom to be like that too.. Its so small but can make someone's day. So I will be trying to do this and how nice is it that we can do this from the computer. And there are places where you can order the card and actually personalize it and have it mailed from there which you pay extra for postage. This can't make my life easier and less of an reasons to not be better about it.

Photo of the day...

lately this 'creek' by the building i work at is dried up. So today when I was walking by I noticed that there was water. Got excited and had to take a picture.. Just watching the water go by has this calming effect on me. I wanted to share with whoever would like to see. I am trying to appreciate the little things that either i see or happen to experience something with. Yes i am smelling the roses - thank you. :-D

To bento box or not....

I feel that beginning this year I have been doing a better job of putting together M's lunch for daycare. But one day that i don't feel like packing a lunch and have no idea what to put in it I am 'talked' to by the main person. Which I am glad that she did. At first I was offended but honestly I am trying to look at things differently. So why am I happy? Because she cares that much for him to mention it to me and suggest things I can do instead.

So I have taken what she says and will put a twist on it. I will make it work for whatever M and I like.. And what I am capable of doing - which is anything to make my little guy happy and healthy. :-D

See I actually do practice what I preach and try to reach my goals that I do for myself.

I am even thinking of posting pictures so that i will make sure to do it.

Best V-Day present

Yesterday I received the best V-Day gift EVER!! The first of many to come hopefully.. M made me bath salts at school... It was so sweet and he was so excited to give it to me. he reminds me every day why i love being a mom and how lucky i am to have him in my life. this past year i have learned to treasure our moments together. yes i am not a perfect mommy and i have my moments. but for the most part we teach each other something.

Starting today..

i will take a photo of each day to represent and to remind me moments of the day that i want to remember or just because.. :-D

Trying to do things for M

I decided that I would try to save up and buy myself a bike.. i haven't had one since I was in grade school because mine was stolen.. And I haven't felt like I wanted another one. But now that M is 4 and a 1/2 he wants to ride his bike more. And now that we live in an area that we both can ride and not worry about so many cars - I think it could be a good time to buy one. But it's not high on my priority because I have my jogging stroller that I want to use more often. I can't wait for the sun to down later.

Interesting... 5 Best Things to Do for Your Relationship

I read this article and find it very simple and interesting.. Why do we (women) have to stroke our husband/partner's back for everything little thing they do?? I mean by all means for me I do so much more but do I get a thank you? But if it helps this is definitely worth trying out. Call it my experiment to a happier marriage. ;-P

When it comes to love, relationships can be like cars: constant care and adjustment (instead of pricey and painful visits to the body shop/marriage counselor) are often the best way to improve and strengthen your bond. One of O's staffers gets the lowdown from the experts on five fixes to start making now.


1: "Stop all shame, blame, and criticism. Instead ask for what you want in a clear, specific, and positive manner, and express appreciation for your partner. To elaborate: Men need to feel competent—that they make a contribution and that it is noticed. They like to be told what 'behavior' makes you happy. Since men tend to express affection by doing things, you should interpret their actions as love. When men know what to do and are acknowledged for it, they tend to keep doing it." — Harville Hendrix, PhD, author of Getting the Love You Want

2: "Change from a critical habit of mind, in which you're very involved with your partner's mistakes, to a positive one, in which you catch him doing something right. Notice one small thing, and express genuine appreciation. That will change your interaction patterns from escalating negativity and criticism to building a culture of appreciation." — John M. Gottman, PhD, author of The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships

3: "When your relationship starts to break down, you need AAA: an Apology, Affection, and a promise of Action. You say you're sorry for what you've said or done to hurt or disappoint your partner. You immediately offer a hug, a kiss—some meaningful gesture of warmth. You pledge to do something that matters to your partner ('From now on, I will…'). And, of course, you stick to that. This whole AAA thing can take two minutes, but in that time you've healed the past, built a bridge to the present, and created hope for your future." — Mira Kirshenbaum, psychotherapist and author of The Weekend Marriage

4: "With books on the market like How to Make Love Like a Porn Star, one of the greatest services you can do for a guy is to reassure him that he doesn't have to make love like a porn star. You can show him how to have sex like a woman: creative, sensual, non-genital-based, and more pleasure- than orgasm-focused. Lead him to an experience that goes beyond his penis and makes him fully engaged—mind, body, and soul." — Ian Kerner, PhD, author of She Comes First

5: "All relationships grow a bit stale as time goes by, and the longer-lasting they are, the staler they can get. The best thing you can do is pump in some fresh air. A long weekend in a romantic hideaway would be ideal, but even a few hours in a motel helps. Don't tell anyone where you are, turn off your cell phones, and unplug the TV. When you get home, you'll find your relationship has acquired ruddy cheeks." — Dr. Ruth Westheimer, psychosexual therapist and author of 52 Lessons on Communicating Love

This summer

this year i have decided that i know that daycare is closed from a certain time. i will take some time off for the first time and spend it with my family and we'll do day trips. and maybe even get to go somewhere this year. we haven't gone on a family vacation in awhile.

by this summer he'll be 5 years old so i will have to look into places to go for a 5 year old. i can't believe i am thinking about summertime already.

is it true??

i read somewhere that how your outlook on life/hurdles is all the good or bad that comes your way. so if you try to look at the bright side of things then good things come your way. i will try this out and see what happens. even when something happens that i would have thought was bad. but if i send of positive energy and vibes good will come my way.

now don't get me wrong if you know me i am not the cheer leader/peppy person. i try to see the good in people. but sometimes i just get annoyed and get mad. but i need to work on being more positive but in my way. i mean i try to do to others how i would and be a good person. but it's also trying to look at the brighter side... i heard that meditating is really good for the soul so i must try this in the morning before i start my day. and see if this is really true. although with the weather being so COLD it's hard to get out of bed. but there's no harm in trying because at least i can say it's true or not.

wishing everyone a great day! :-D

The fat lady is singing...

i never thought i'd see this day EVER.. my dad and i haven't had the best of relationship. if my grandmother (dad's mom) didn't pull the i am old card and ask me to ask my father to walk me down the aisle i never would have asked him to walk me. but around M's bday i started to notice a change.. i guess the universe had a shift and it affected him big time. He called on M's bday to wish him a happy bday. i know a grandpa calling his grandson to wish him a happy bday shouldn't be a big deal. but my dad has never called me to wish me a happy bday since my parents divorced. so yes it is a very big positive move on his part. then after that he'd make attempts. maybe even before that the change started. anyways he called to have the families over to celebrate M's and the T2s bdays. and asked us to come over for dinner every so often. when we do come he doesn't invite his church friends... just us which is really nice because we all actually talk. dad even stays at the dinner table after he finishes his dinner to chat with everyone. it's nice to know that M has his 'ojichan' and i am starting to feel like i have a father. i know our relationship is mending and i know it takes time. but as long as i see he is trying i will try too. and the nice thing is that he is getting to know his grandchildren.

he can be so nice and giving at times. i just hope it lasts and that we can all just get along and get to know each other. but for now i am enjoying every minute because this doesn't ever happen.

Goals for the week..

i need to put this down so that i know it's out there and commit:

1. Pack up clothes that need to be at the house
2. Clean the backyard
3. Buy curtains for M's room
4. Move the rest of items from mom's to our place
5. Pick up box from Fedex/kinkos
6.
7.

Jogging Stroller...

One of my goals this year was exercise regularly and not slack off.. whether i catch a cold or just feeling the blahs.. don't let myself fall off the wagon. and i am proud to say that I haven't fallen off and i am going more than just 3 times a week. i find that if i go in the morning i just get it done with. now i am getting more into just getting fit that i have purchased a jogging stroller (finally) thanks to BK. i went for the first time last night with the boss. we had a great time and i was able to jog and not worry that i may break the stroller because it wasn't made to jog with.

goal forever is to jog with the boss at least 2 twice a week until the end of the year. next year i will add another day but i want to be realistic with myself.

btw, the jogging stroller is the best stroller ever!!

Thinking positive...

Yesterday was a long day.. but i kept thinking positive thoughts. And I remember that it could always be worse. So just know that with every situation there's two ways of looking at it. In order to deal I have kept a mini journal for myself so that i can 'vent'. i am a big vent-er and need to in order to get it off my chest. Then I think about how I won't let this upset me and why. So far so good.. And I am back to wearing a rubber band on my wrist too.

also, my son made me a sunflower to look at when i am having a bad day. he also knows it's one of my favorite flowers. because normally when i tell him that my day wasn't too good he'll ask me if i looked at his flower he feels it will make my day better. which it does. :-D